#83 Sep/Oct 2006
The Washington Free Press Washington's Independent Journal of News, Ideas & Culture
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TOP STORIES

Fidel Decides US Presidential Elections
Election by popular vote would ensure that the Florida Cuban vote doesn't have undue influence
by Steven Hill

Five Years on
opinion by Todd Huffman, MD

Mothers Day at the Bangor Trident Base
personal account by Jan Prichard-Cohen

Pierce County to Vote on IRV
editor

FREE THOUGHTS

READER MAIL
Liberal in Religion (Except for Catholics?); Impeach Bush Now

A Violent & Hopeless Course
Seattle shooting ought to trigger questions about American foreign policy
opinion by Joel Hanson

Today's 'Bad' Immigrant is Tomorrow's 'Good' Immigrant
by Domenico Maceri

Can you fill in the blanks in these headlines?
by Doug Collins

FOOD

The Cholesterol Myth Part 2: The dangers of low blood cholesterol
by Barry Groves, PhD

CHOLESTEROL THEORY WIPES OUT HUMAN RACE
'Regret at the waste of a fine planet'
from the Weston A. Price Foundation

MEDIA

MEDIA BEAT
Digital Hype: A Dazzling Smokescreen?
by Norman Solomon

Remodel at the Seattle Weekly
by Doug Collins

Just Looking For Something Fun To Do On Saturday Night?
from the editor

CIVIL RIGHTS

Judge: No Ban on Apartment Door Signs
Housing agency appeals verdict
opinion and photos by Keith Gormezano

Defending Free Speech Rights of Lt. Ehren Watada
Brief filed for Fort Lewis officer facing court martial for opposition to Iraq War
from the ACLU of WA

POLITICS

Fishing for a Good Candidate
opinion by Doug Collins

Thank Republican Congressmen Ron Paul and Walter Jones for Speaking Truth
by David Swanson

Republicans, Please Stand Up
opinion by Jim Sullivan

BOOKS

BOOK NOTICES
Tire Grabbers; The Revenge of Gaia; This is Burning Man

What's your favorite book?
Write about it!
from the editor

LAW

BOB'S RANDOM LEGAL WISDOM
The Long Road to Justice: One Client's Story
by Bob Anderton
plus Bob's Random Lawyer Joke

HEALTH

Charity at the Wrong End
Drugstores charity and pharmaceutical solutions
by Doug Collins

Vaccination Update
Pharmaceutical companies might lose out if common sense held sway
by Doug Collins

Disposing the Diaper
Part 2: How my wife and I potty-trained pretty darn early. Our kids, I mean.
by Doug Collins

CONTACTS & ACTIVISM

DO SOMETHING CALENDAR

NORTHWEST NEIGHBORS

ENVIRONMENT

Bush Fiddles While the World Burns
As global warming sets new and dangerous records, the US sets new records in pollution
by Don Monkerud

RIGHT BRAIN

Some Thoughts
by Styx Mundstock

THE WANDERINGS AND THOUGHTS OF KIPP KELLOG
by Vincent Spada #7

PUMPKIN EDDIE'S LIGHTNING POEMS
by Vincent Spada

Mourning and Moving On
poem by Robert Pavlik

WORLD RECORDS DEPT.
Transcendental Poem
by Vincent Spada

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CHOLESTEROL THEORY WIPES OUT HUMAN RACE

'Regret at the waste of a fine planet'

PLANET EARTH, April 9, 2057: A faulty theory on the origin and cause of heart disease, introduced on Planet Earth 100 years prior to this date, has caused the demise of the human race, according to a Pleiadean delegation report. The theory led to food choices that proved lethal to humans over several generations.

"We were surprised at the rapidity of its effects," said the commission's chairman, "and the tenacity of the theory. Even when infertility and early death became widespread, humans did not question the validity of the basic assumptions."

The delegation, which visits Planet Earth once every fifty earth years on fact-finding missions, estimated the decrease in earthling numbers at almost 99 percent. Only pockets of isolated populations and some descendants of impoverished dairy farmers, too poor to purchase supermarket foods, remained.

Proponents of the cholesterol theory maintained that saturated fats and cholesterol were the cause of heart disease. Industrially processed vegetable oils gradually replaced saturated fats in the human diet as Earth-dwellers sought to lower their blood cholesterol below the levels needed to produce reproductive hormones. The introduction of imitation foods-rich in plant-based estrogens and plant sterols-into commonly eaten foods exacerbated the antifertility effects.

Humans were also encouraged to take drugs to lower cholesterol levels and these had side effects such as cancer, which contributed to the population decline. Heart disease increased, in spite of rigid adherence to cholesterol-lowering regimes.

Ironically, a few earthling scientists had warned against the effects of diets based on vegetable oils, the commission found. But these souls were either ignored or persecuted. Over time, general mental ability declined, with great numbers of children experiencing learning difficulties. Eventually, humans could no longer make sense of ancestral dietary traditions or of published studies on the role of saturated fats in human nutrition.

The real enemy, according to the report, was fear. "Humans were taught to fear the very foods that had made their evolution possible," said the observers. "They were very gullible and believed the advertisements and pronouncements of those who profited from the sale of vegetable oils and cholesterol-lowering drugs."

"Even if earthlings can overcome their fear and return to traditional foods," said the commission, "it will take centuries to repopulate the earth." The delegation expressed regret at the waste of a fine planet.

Above satire reprinted with permission from the Weston A. Price Foundation, www.westonaprice.org . See also The Oiling of America, by Mary Enig, PhD and Sally Fallon.


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